


Evan gets a note from "A. Future school shooter"

by schizophrenicChameleon



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Hamilton - Miranda, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, OneShot (Video Game)
Genre: .../.-/...-/./--/./, AAAND NIKO IS HERE U SHITS, BOMB WORKS, HE, Hell, I HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY MOTHER HAM, I have to go to Texas after my dad gets home later, I love my girlfriend, I swear im naming my son Evan, J.D KILLS, KILL THIS, Legos, M/M, NEVER SHOW HIM LEGOS, Shit, and mother ham, but - Freeform, heeeeeelp, i just wanted writing prompts and then made this, i might make a real fic later, i want to hug my sons, it is 3:31 here for me, my son had a dream about his fetish, not really - Freeform, or - Freeform, the boyfs broke up, welp rip, welp shit, what le fuck is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-30 14:54:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10879134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizophrenicChameleon/pseuds/schizophrenicChameleon
Summary: So he found a note on his car. a fucking prompt i found on an app leads to the hell that this is.kill it please*coinor murpee*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for making this ;w;

EVAN THE FUCKINF SHIT AKA MY GODDAMN SON YOU SHITS, FOUND A FUCKING NOTE ON HIS CAR. WAIT HOLD ON HE HAS A CAR? SON TELL ME WHEN YOU BUY SHIT PLEASE

ANWAY, THIS FUCKING HORRIBLE NOTE SAYS 'HEY UM I AM RLLY FUCKING GAY FOR U, SO FUK ME DADDY -A FUTURE SCHOOL SHOOTER"

EVAN FUCKIN GOSPED AND BLUSHEDS BEFORE DRIVENG TO CONNOREDS HOM. HE GOT THERE AND CLIMBED IN THE FUCKING WINDOW, JESUS STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE FUCKING J.D YOU SHIT CALM DOWN AND FUCK YOUR BOYF LATERSSSSSSS

ALTHO THE FUTURE SCHOOL SHOOT COINOR MURPEE IS ASOLERP BECAUSE HE GOT VURY FUKING HIGH AND ZOO PUNCHED HIM. O SHIT SHE IS A BITCH. EVAN DOESN'T GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK THO AND CUTS SOME OF THE *V E R Y* HIGH BOIS HAIR OFF BEFORE CRAWLING IN HIS BED- WAIT FUCK NO DON'T FUCK YOUR BOYF SON. get a condom first, you don't wanna get him preggnut do u?

WELP THEY FUCKED. THE WILD CHEYKNEE WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THIS IS A PG FANFIC AND PLEASE DON'T KILL MY DAUGHTER OR WIFE, OR SONS, KILL MY BROTHER HUNTREE. BACK TO THE STORY WOP

AFTER THAT CONNIRE WOK UP ONLY TO SEE EVUN STARRRRRIN AT DAT ASS. HE LOKED AWUY EMBARRASED BIFOR GRABBING HIS BOYF AND TOSSING HIM OUT THE WINDOW AND GRABBING HIS GUN

"EVAN IT IS TIME TO SHOOT UP WESTERBURR HIGH"

"BUTWHATIFWEDIE"

"BURRRRRRRR HIGH U SHIT"

"OKI"

HAMILTON FUCKING BACKFLIPS IN THE ROOM AND STABS CONEOR WITH HIS PEN HOLY SHIT HE WROTE WITH THE PEN SO DAMN MUCH IT IS A KNIFE HOLY SHIT.

EVONER CLIMBS A TREE BEFORE SWINGING FROM THE BRANCH INTO COIRNORS ROOM AND KICKING HAM IN THE FACE KILLING HIM. JESGOS SON U KILLED HAM WHAT IS LAWRENS GUNNA DO NIOW?

HE GRABS HIS BOYF AND RUNS TO THE SCJOOL SETTING HIS LIMP DEAD -NOT AT ALL SEXAY- BODY ON THE GROUND BEFORE TAKING THE GON AND SCREECHING 

"FoR MY bOyyffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

AFTER THAT HE BALASTED WAKE ME UP INSIDE AS HE KILLED EVERYONE AT SKOLE.

as all this went down MY SON J DICK WAS GOING TO BLOW UP THE SKOLE.

WELP SHIT MAN, WHAT NOW??


	2. O SHIT BOYF BE ALIVE???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING PLOT TWIST MAN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO UM, I GOT REALLY BORED AND DECIDED BEFORE I WRITE A REAL STORY, we may as well finish this MASTERPIECE :3

AFTER SHOOTING UP THE SKOLE, EVON WALTZED OVER TO CONnORS DED BODY.

"BOYF...."

SUDDENLY HE STODE UP AND LOKED ENVELOPE IN TE EYES.

"I AM ALIVE YOU FORK"

"OHMAHGAWDCONDOMURALIVEEEEEEEE!"

HE HUGGED HIS BOYF AND JED.DEEEEE WATCHED STILL HOLDING A BOMB MADE OUT OF LEGOS. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE A BOMB OUT OF LEGOS???

HE WALKED OVER TO THE GAY BOYFS AND TAPED THE BOMB ONTO EVENHAMILTIONS NECK. AFTER THAT HE STRUGGLED FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES TO SET THE TIMER.

FUCK HE CAN'T COUNT. ANYWAY. EDDISON HUGGLED CORNER IGNORING THE FACT HE WAS GOING TO DIE SOON.

WELL AT LEAST HE WAS DYING WITH HIS BOYF, SHOT UP THE SKOLE, AND GOT TO FUK SOMEONE IN THEIR SLEEP.

CONDOM LOOKED UP AND SAW AARON FUCKING BURR IN FRONT OF THE SCOOLS HOLDING A GUN WITH A DEAD INSIDE SMILE. WELL FUCK, YOU GONNA EITHER GET SHOT or FUCKING EXPLODEEEEE

FINALLY THE BOMB STARTED COUNTING DOWN, ENVELOPE LOOKED UP AT HIS BOYF, THE LAST tIME HE EVER SEES THEM SEXAY TREE BROWN EYES. EVOOON NOOO DON'T THINK ABOUT FUCKING TREES.

"CONDOM! I LOFLESP UuUUUUUU"

"..."

THE BOMB REACHED 6.

"I NEVER LOFLEPED U FUCKING EVELOPE FORK. I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WITH A SPOON AND-"

TOO LATE FUCKERS THE BOMB WENT OFF. JED.DEEEE ALSO DIED. AND A RON BURN JUST STOOD THERE AND FELL OVER. FUCK THE WORLD IS DED NOW. NIKO NEEDS TO SAV THE WORRRRRLD NOW. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKO GET OVER HEREE


	3. CONDOM FINDS OUT EVROOMS SEKRET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O DAM

SIKE VIETCH! THEY AREN'T DEAD, IN FACT THEY ARE JUST SLEEPING (AFTER CONDOM GOT FUCKED). EVOON BLUSHEDS AT HIS SLEPIMG BOYF, HE RIMIDED HIM OF TRES.

YEET, EVROOM LOFLEPS TRES, HE HAS ALWAYS WANTED TO SMAM ONE. CRONCH WOTKED UP  
AND NOTICED EVENECENSE THINKING ABOUT TRES

HE sWAR HIM BLOOSHESD BEFOR LOKCING AT HIS TOTALLY HETEROSEXU BOYF.

"CORD? CORD I HAF SOMETHUN TO TILL YOU,,,,"

"WHAT EKEN?"

"I FUCK BATH BOMBS AND TRES!!!"

CUNTORR LOOKED SHOWKED BUT THEN SCREAMED

"EVROMRAIL! YOU FUCKING SPORK"

"IM SORRY CORN"

HE BEGIN CRYSING, BUT CUMOR DIDN'T GIVE AFUCK AND WALKED AWAY

EVROMRAIL SOBBED, BEEEGING HIS BOYF TO COME BACK, BUR HE LEFT.

JAR RED WALZES IN AND LOCKLEPS AT EVROOOOOOOOOM

"EVROOOOOOM, I LODLEPS YOU MORE THAN CUNTSOR, LOGLEP ME INSTEAZD"

"BUT JAR RED,,, YOU ARE A FAMILY RIEND"

"NO. BE MY BOYF"

BUT JAR-"

"I WILL KILL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SHOW YOU MY LOVE"

"OKAY RARED, I LOHLEP U"

HE PUT AN ARM AROUDNEVROMM AND SAW DONNOR LOOK AT THEM, HE LOKCED JEALOUS.

EVROM CONTINUED HUGGLING HIS NEW BOYF AS REDJAR FLIPPED CONDOM OFF


	4. IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!

Hey everyone!! SO, first of all, I'm continuing to write this but I'm running out of names for everyone

Right now I only have to have 3 names

Jared  
Connor  
Evan

AND SO FUCKING FAR, WE HAVE CORNER, CONDOM, ENVELOPE, EVANOR, and a few others

SO, I NEED NAME IDEAS THEY CAN BE ANYTHING

anyway that is all imma go try and write the next chapter

I hope you like the masterpeice of Cheyknee being too lazy to finish her zombie au oneshot thing with connor and evan and turning to crack fics.

-Cheyknee


	5. tHE FOOOKING FIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well shit i just wrote this in like 30 minutes and it still turned out decent???
> 
> eh well time to try and finish that story i actually want to publish

JOKED FLUPPLEED CARROT OFF AND EVEE JUST STODE THERE CONFUSLED.

"JARK! JED DUCK IS GOING TO BLOWE UP TE SKOL! WE NEED TO KILLS HIM"

"EKEN WHO TE FUCK IS DEDKOOK???"

"I DON'T KNOW BOYF"

"O WELL"

CART LOKSLEPED AT HIS EX-BOYF WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE RAN FROM HIS HOUSE. HE RAAN TO AN ALLEY WHERE HE GOT DRUGS FROM A KID AT THE SKOLE. HE HAD OFFERED HIM A GREY OBLONG PILL A MONTH BACK AND KEPT ONE JUST IN CASE HE WANTED IT, AND DAMMIT TODAY WAS THAT FUCKING DAY.

(guys don't do gray oblong pills from a guy in the alley)

EXSTENSIONCORD WALKED OVER TO THE BOI AND KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS, HANDING HIM 400 BUCKETS ANND STELLING THE GRAY OBLONG PILL ONLY HEATRING THE KID YELL

"IT IS FROM FUCKING JAPAN, CONDOM!"

AND THAT WAS THE LAST THING HE EVER HEARD FROM RICE.

HE WENT TO HIS HOUSE AND STOLE MOUNTAIN DEW FROM SOME GUYS HOUSE WHO WAS ABOUT TO GET FUCKED OR SOMETHING, AND THEN HE TOOK THE PILL.

NOTHING HAPPENED.

HE JUST SHRUGGED AND WALKED BAK TO HIS HOUSE ONLY TO SEE 3 PEOPLE.

A FEMAIL WEARING A RED FUCKING JACKET, A MAIL WERARING A JACKET WITHA RAINBOW PATCH, AND ANOTHER MAIKL WERAING A GRAY COAT.

"WHO THE FUK IS YOU'

"WE OWN THIS FORKING CANDY STORE NOW FUCKER"

THE FEMAIL IN tHE RED JACKET JUST PULLED OUT A GUNE AND SHOT HERSELF. WELL SHIT 

CARROT JUST SCREAMED AS HE BEAT ThE SHIT oUT OF tHE OTtHER tWO GUYS.

HE MANAGED TO WALK INTO HIS HOUSE AND WALKED BACK TO HIS ROOM.

"So RARJAREDRAS, ARE WE GOING TO MARRY AND HAS THE KIDDIES??"

"OF COURSE YOU FUCKING CUCK"

CARROT WANTED TI SCREAN. BYT INSTEAD HE WALKED OVER TI THEM AND KOLKLEPSED EXVAN IN THE EYS.

"EVROMIK, I FORKING LOFLEPS YYOU SO MOCH"

"JARREDRAR! SENPAIIII"

JARRARED QUICKLY GRABBED HIS BOYF HISSING AT CONFOND LIKE A KAT.

SHIT BE INTENSE BOI

THE TWO BEGAN ATTACKING EACH OTHER AS EVROMAILIK PANICKED AND LOOKED AOUT THE WIDNOWS AT THE TRES. HE MUTTERED FUCK IT AND JUMPED THROUGHT THE WINDOW INTO TE TRE.

RARHED AND CANTEEN STILL WERE FIGHTING THO


End file.
